It's Okay To Shit Where You Eat

In most corporate work environments, romantic flings are off-limits.

This is to prevent any messy power dynamics, legal risk, favoritism, or emotional fallout from spilling into the workplace. Clear rules keep personal desire from interfering with work.

But in the small business world, there is no HR to provide guardrails. And much of our “career life” is already intertwined with “personal life.”

While most people might advise you to also keep work and personal life separate, we’re here to tell you that it’s okay to mix personal with professional, so long as you understand both the potential rewards and consequences!

Before You Enter A Fling With Someone Tied To Your Business

We’re not necessarily talking about partnerships between already-established couples, though this article may also apply to them.

We’re talking about attraction that shows up after the business connection already exists.

When there’s already money, access, influence, or reputation involved, a fling stops being “just personal.” Whatever happens emotionally will splash through your business, your decision-making, and your peace of mind.

Here are the things to take note of before you act on your attraction:

Rewards (if both parties are mature, honest, & set strong boundaries):

• an increase in creative energy

• a deep collaborative connection built on trust and intimacy

• the daily grind feels exciting

• deep transformation and lessons gained through interpersonal partnership

Risks:

• clouded thinking — when you’re into someone, it’s easy to make choices based on feelings instead of what’s smart for your business.

• imbalanced power dynamics — if they can make decisions about money, clients, or contracts, disagreements could mess things up or cost you money.

• emotional fallout — jealousy, hurt feelings, or different expectations can distract you and make work more difficult

• reputation risk — even if you think it’s private, other people might hear about it and it could affect how clients, partners, or coworkers see you

From our experience (both personally and from witnessing others who have mingled romance with business), we have noticed that imbalanced power dynamics are the main factor that contribute to most of the problems.

Navigating Business Flings Safely

Mixing romance and business can be exciting, but it’s also risky. The key is being smart, aware, and intentional so your personal choices don’t wreck your business.

Here is the foolproof checklist to run through to protect you against power imbalances. Use your discretion…

• total discretion (no one else knows):

  Keep it offline. don’t use company email or chat systems to send flirty messages. If there is a lawsuit later, those messages are legally discoverable, meaning a judge can force you to show them.

• set legal boundaries (put contracts in place):

  You need to have a very awkward, mature conversation immediately. What happens if one of you wants to stop seeing the other? The person who wants to break up must agree not to sabotage the business. What if it gets messy?Agree that if a breakup happens, you will remain professional and not talk badly about the other person at work.

• keep your money separated (this one is the most important!!)

  Do not share credit cards or bank accounts. Do not give the person a raise, a special contract, or a lower price on products because you are seeing them. This could be a massive conflict of interest and can get you in trouble, especially if you have partners or investors.

• have a backup plan (your plan b exit strategy)

  People can change. If things go sour, the most sweetest Prince Charming can turn into a beast. Do you have another supplier ready to go immediately? Or a sense of heavy obligation can form. Can you afford to fire them (or can they afford to quit) and still keep the business running?

Again, all of this is up to you. Many business partnerships, especially between married couples, may thrive based on how they operate in their personal relationships…

But we highly recommend that you treat ALL business connections as business first, romance second. Because your business is your livelihood.

And you don’t wanna F with that!