My business partner is too confrontational with me - here's what to do

dollhouse: makeup brand

Fun fact: Eyeliner (kohl) in ancient cultures was used not just for beauty, but also to reduce sun glare and was believed to help protect the eyes from infections and environmental irritants.

The issue: 

Your business partner, Connie, tends to become quite confrontational with you. In other words, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells.

Let's say you and Connie started a makeup brand together.

An example: 

Connie seems to have an intense reaction every time you want to brainstorm product changes for your makeup line. While you like to explore all options, Connie tends to feel like your brainstorming is a debate or desire to change up everything that you've worked for.

You welcome disagreements, but you feel that Connie does it in a way that feels reactive, aggressive, or unnecessarily tense. 

Two hidden costs:

1. You want to stay silent, just to avoid the friction.
2. Discussions seem to be about winning, rather than finding the best outcomes for your business.

The reasons:

Here are the reasons why Connie is so confrontational with you (and/or):

• It's not specific to you - she is explosive or confrontational in general. 
  
• She feels that you are a "safe enough space" to unleash her emotions onto.
• She feels an underlying frustration towards you, and it spills to various areas of your relationship / business.
• She feels challenged by you in some way, and she wants to push back.

Your quick fix (honoring autonomy): 

Your goal is to create a harmonious space, where you can be open without feeling the need to walk on eggshells or dread her reactions.

Even if the underlying intentions are positive, the way that we interact with each other and the energy we give off is important to consider to create a collaborative environment.

• Can you both communicate directly without escalating tension or creating an uncomfortable environment for the other?
• Are you both willing to make the proper adjustments?

If YES, you can make compromises.

If NO, you have a fundamental incompatibility - you each have different ways to approaching conflict.

Mending your partnership:

Book a consultation with Valerie.

Vetting for the future:

If you are searching for a business partner in the future, first figure out how they approach conflict.

This ensures that you’ll be comfortable sharing openly and honestly with your partner.

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