Business Owner’s Compass: How to Know You’re Making the Right Choices
No matter how confident we are, a big part of taking the leap and doing our own thing in life is facing the fear of failure. All eyes are on us, the pressure to survive is all on us, the landscape of making infinite possible decisions is scary, and it’s not easy to decide to take risks that might not pan out in the long run.
It also doesn’t matter how far along our business path we are, whether we are thinking about taking the leap into solopreneurship or are seasoned business owners responsible for a large team. The fear of failure is prevalent in anyone who ventures outside of their comfort zone.
The fears that pop up in our heads span across the fear of judgement, the fear of life “proving” that we are incapable, the fear of making the wrong choices, the fear of letting ourselves and others down, the fear of wasting our time and resources… The fear demon can grow into a giant, unwavering presence that lingers in our subconscious and holds us back from experiencing the joy of the journey of business-building.
I keep learning to confront this fear demon by following one metric of success and using that as a compass to make my daily decisions:
The Metric of Success
I ask myself:
What can I do right now, in this moment, that would give me the most amount of fun and joy?
This morning, I woke up with a plan to send off emails and do admin work. But in the moment, I felt that it would be more fun to go down a rabbit hole of how reality tv shows are created, which somehow gave me the inspiration to write this post. Now, there is literally not a single thing more fun to me than to sit here and write this, which is why I’m doing it.
In each moment, I try to listen to what feels most uplifting to me. Sometimes, that’s doing “useless” shit for weeks at a time (which actually gives me space for creativity and inspiration). Or doing things that seem to make no sense in terms of productivity or achievement, but they’ve always led to great opportunities that pop up out of nowhere. Or suddenly working 15-hour days, simply because I get so lost in the art of what I’m doing in the moment.
Having fun in the moment breeds creativity and inspiration. It is also one of the few things we can control in life — how much we enjoy each moment.
Even if my business doesn’t float in the end, I’ve had the absolute most fun time building it up. I’ve picked up so many new skills along the way. And it’ll be an important stepping stone for what comes next … and next… and next…
I’ve had SO much fun and personal growth that I already feel it as success. This in itself also gives me the confidence to keep going and keep having fun.
How to Have Fun
The art of having fun is still an art — it’s not necessarily a skill to pick-up but one that we have to re-learn.
Kids are masters at the art of living in the moment and having fun. Adults can become so overwhelmed by fears and anxieties that it does not feel safe to let go of control and just enjoy.
We need to feel safe in order to feel free enough to let go and listen to our hearts in the moment - especially against the mental dialogue that tells us that we are wasting time, should be doing other things, will forget everything, will mess up something, etc.
I often hear people say (and I myself used to feel): “I don’t know what I’m passionate about. I don’t know what I need to have fun. I don’t do much for fun.”
If we became aware of the fearful dialogue in our minds and calmed it, we would find that we do indeed know what is most fun in the moment. But we just do not give ourselves the permission to follow through on that fun.
“I do want to research about reality tv right now… but I shouldn’t… I need to send off emails.”
“I do want to drive to the beach today… but I shouldn’t… I need to study up to be ready for the exam.”
Remove “should” or “should not” from your vocabulary. Why should we or should we not do anything but listen to the voice inside that says “This is what I’d love to do in this moment?”
Our desires are a clue as to the fastest, easiest way to get to our goals. Trust yourself enough to know that your desires will lead you where you want to go, even if they seem to make no sense in the moment.
Our desires reveal our values, preferences, and give us direction for how to arrange our lives to life our most ideal lifestyle. For example, by observing that your desires do not seem to follow your tight plans, you may want to develop a lifestyle that thrives with fewer plans and commitments.
Finding Enough Safety to Have Fun
The mind has a tough time letting go of control enough to say, “Fuck it, I’m just going to let go and trust myself enough to see what happens.”
The question I ask myself in the mirror is: “What is more important to you than living a genuinely happy and fun life?”
Before I die, there is truly nothing more that I would like than to feel that my life was made up of a string of very happy and fun-filled moments.
Allow yourself to feel safety in that. That if you choose to follow the part in you that tells you what you want to do or be in each moment, you are doing yourself a favor so that one day, you can indeed look back and feel grateful that that your life was filled with so much fun.
Success is a Guarantee
It may feel scary to start living this way and start letting go of control, but know that there is a safety net under you.
That safety net is your pure enjoyment of each moment and the realization that you have everything that it takes — brains, creativity, kindness, strength, integrity, depth — to enjoy all future moments that come, no matter what happens.
Living this way has led me to move all around the world, have a lifetime of odd adventures already, and most importantly, live a much happier life than ever before.
I’m happy to chat with anyone who wants to live more spontaneously and bring more fun into your life — chatting about this is one of greatest passions!!