You're Allowed to Be Human, And That Includes Jealousy
There’s no shame in feeling jealous of someone else’s life or success! Or to feel… not genuinely happy… for others.
Every week, I like to spend a bit of time browsing through Reddit to look at what people are saying in private but maybe not yet willing to speak out loud. And then write about it. Because I think there’s really nothing to ever need to be ashamed about, even though it’s harder said than done.
One of the biggest themes that I read about this week on Reddit was the shame of feeling jealous or envious over someone else’s success.
“How to cope with jealousy of someone else’s success?”
“I feel guilty for being jealous and angry.”
“I feel so childish and embarrassed for being jealous.”
“How come I’m not happy for other people’s successes? I want to be, but I’m just not.”
I feel like jealousy is one of those things that’s extra hard to admit, because there’s such a strong correlation between being jealous and being seen as insecure. And God forbid we’re insecure!!
Jealousy just highlights the parts in us that might secretly feel stuck, want something different, or not believe in ourselves.
Self- doubt and wanting something we don’t have yet. These are some of the most universal human struggles there are…
These struggles don’t always translate into feelings of jealousy, but if they do, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. There’s nothing wrong with you.
Where one person experiences jealousy, another person might become perfectionistic. Or procrastinate. Or overachieve. Or become impulsive and self-sabotage … spiral in anxiety… feel the need to control… numb out…
Those parts in ourselves deserve some self-compassion and patience. Shaming ourselves for being “insecure” doesn’t really help with much. And it’s also not the full story.
Jealousy is just the voice inside of us that says “I don’t feel good enough. Let’s be aware of this and use this as an opportunity to challenge this dialogue.”
Feeling not good enough is something every single human being deals with in their own way (and usually privately), no matter how confident they look on the outside.
Remind yourself that you’re perfect exactly as you are, right now, no matter what thoughts or feelings you hold. And that by letting go of any shame of who you are now, you’re already evolving into a more authentic version of yourself.
If you need help with figuring out where to go from here, you can either book a doll call or speak to one of our career dolls!